This is more of a personal message that won’t appear on the Real Guns home page, but will go to the article list. So feel free to skip it if the message is not of interest. In fact, it is more my penance than a message… a mariner’s rime.
Most of the world’s people and faiths celebrate major holidays this time of year. As a traditional American, Catholic by faith if not by institution, Thanksgiving and Christmas are looming large. Lots of conflicting thoughts.
The meanings of these holidays are clear to me; respectively, thanks to God for blessings in their many forms and celebration of the birth of Christ. The problem is, I have always celebrated those holidays with my wife of fifty four years, but she passed away in March… which left me not feeling particularly blessed or particularly happy with this whole Christ thing.
Anger is not a good thing. I know as I have elevated it to an art form over the course of my life. Short on patience, unrelenting and little understanding of others. You know, a jackass. My wife was all things I was not. She was the antidote that allowed me to function within society and to maintain mostly amicable relationships with family and friends.
Now, after months of reflection, I realize I have been throwing away all of the lessons I learned from her and, in doing so, I was devaluing her memory and disrespecting her many accomplishments. And, if I am to be a Catholic and hold hope of being united with her some day, I have to have faith and place trust in the Lord. Funny, I recite this to myself every morning. I guess I hadn’t been listening…
God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command, we return to dust.
Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.
In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.
Amen.
It would seem my wife grew tired of my sorry ass and went on vacation to a really nice place without me. My wife was a woman of great faith who quietly, gently, persistently herded our three children toward the Catholic sacraments through marriage, then picked up where she left off with our grandchildren.
So I am blessed to have had those fifty four years with this incredible person, my Eve. I am blessed with our children and grandchildren. I am blessed with a roof over my head, food on the table and faith in the Lord. I will celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas in the spirit intended and in memory of my wife.
I hope you all find happiness and peace of mind for yourselves, because if you have those two states of mind, you will have everything.
Joe
Joe: Know that we all grieved at your loss. Our prayers go out that Diane may restore your grace.
Very kind of you, David. I know there are many who are going through the same. I hope there was even some small takeaway for them within the article.
Joe
Thanks Joe. My wife is all the things I am not. 50th anniversary 11/11. Bill
Well, an early Happy Anniversary to both you and your wife, William. You are a fortunate guy.
Joe
Joe,
I echo Dave’s comments. Your love and respect for Diane shone through everything you have written over the years. May the memories of her grace sustain you until your reunion.
Thank you, Bill. Life is a little surreal at the moment. However, she was such a positive influence on people around her that it only takes a quick look at my surroundings, or a five minute conversation with our youngest granddaughter, to know she is still with us.
Joe